i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a hot homeless man
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize