Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
