i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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