The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wear drunk well.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
