The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
