Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
