i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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