so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
