dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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