i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
