How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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