Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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