I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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