The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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