He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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