Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
