Me too!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
