ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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