I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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