If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
