I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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