don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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