Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so let's talk penis.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
