So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize