Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
