Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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