Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I love you. Go after that dick
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
