Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize