I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we're chasing vodka with high fives
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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