there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
