I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Barsexuality is the new black.
the day after is always just damage control
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
