i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Boobs speak an international language.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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