so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
