just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
