You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize