I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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