you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
