Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
