he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize