First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
