You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
