That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
