There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize