seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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