Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
