Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
