I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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