Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
