How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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