I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
