and you said cock pushups were impossible
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
