They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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