there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
MIDGETS
????
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
