doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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