I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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