I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
