i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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