I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
