if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
