I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
