i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
