holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
