allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
