And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
