Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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