suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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