fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
