Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
