You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
