no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
