so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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