this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
