see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
