**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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