I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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