Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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