i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
