i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
