I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
